By Amy
I can honestly say that I’ve never had a bad date. Well… there was that one time where my date brought along two other people along for the ride but that’s a blog for another time. Aside from that one instance, though, I can’t think of a time where the lady I was with and I didn’t enjoy each other’s company. Even if there was no real romantic chemistry, we always had a good time.
People always look at me like I really am naked with socks on when I tell them about my good date streak. Based on most folks’ horror stories I’m sort of an anomaly. I’ve heard everything from lame conversation and halitosis to stalkerish behavior and big girl/guy tendencies. Well, on the way home after my one-year anniversary party a week and a half ago, me and my man Larry spotted a drunken date disaster in progress. Luckily, I had my trusty new FlipCam handy and charged up to capture this courtship calamity. Before we get to the video footage, let me first set the scene.
Larry and I were walking down 6th Ave. when he decided to grab a late night snack from McDonalds. (NAKED FACT: NWSO doesn’t consume fast food during regular hours and damn sure wasn’t gonna start at 11 o’clock at night, but to each his or her own). On our way in we noticed a dude hunched over a car with a young lady caring to his drunken needs. Apparently, he had hurled the contents of the Mickey D’s bag to the left of him, along with whatever alcoholic beverages that got him into this stupor, out on to the street. Larry and I just shook our heads and proceeded inside.
Fifteen minutes later Larry and I exit the house of Ronald McDonald and notice that Mr. Upchuck has moved down the block to the hood of another car. I guess the owner of the other car asked him to move or his lady friend tried and failed to get him to walk any further. At any rate, she was unsuccessfully attempting to hail a cab, while Mr. Upchuck was doing his business on the piles of trash bags to his right. Oh, and I forgot to mention, dude had on some bright lime green “mannies” (that’s man panties) hanging out the back of his pants. Needless to say, it was a sight to behold.
Being that I was a bit tipsy, thanks to the wonderful party that the ladies of Digital Glam Squad had thrown for me, I decided to document this debacle of a date, while Larry and I provided some tipsy play-by-play commentary. Things got heated when shorty started barkin’ on Mr. Upchuck, because every time a cab was about to stop it would peel off as soon as the driver started Mr. Lime Green Mannies.
I give her props for maintaining her cool for as long as she did and actually stickin’ by her drunk-ass man. The funny thing is Larry and I joked about trying to kick it to shorty, but before we knew it a guy swooped in and beat us to the punch. Homeboy actually tried to kick game while her man was on the side blowin’ chunks. Larry and I broke out shortly after that, so I don’t know if homie got the number but if he did, shorty’s man can’t blame her—he can blame it on the alcohol.
Have you ever had an extremely bad date? What made it so bad? Did you give him/her a second chance or burn their number? What would you do if your date (or friend) was so twisted that they were hurling in the street? Would you leave them to their own devices or hold him/her down like shorty did? Do you have any sympathy for people that can’t hold their liquor? Have you ever been so drunk that someone else had to take care of you? What would you do if you were the girl in the clip below?
Speak your piece…
P.S.
Let me know your thoughts on adding real-life video footage to the site more often
P.P.S.
Don’t forget to tell your friends and family to vote for me in the 2009 Black Weblog Awards. The THREE ballots are at the very bottom of this page.
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